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shahana dastidar
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
mouse
in the house
doom
in my room
on menu - internet cable
the legs of my table
the mains after appetiser
some choice electrical wire
electrocution!
its in shock
no its recovered
and run off
ah well, c'est la vie
BUT hopefully lets see
next time mousey may not be
just quite so lucky
Clearly my poem was inspired by real life events and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It is just these little metaphysical occurrences of everyday life that inspire me to poetry. It also inspires me to other stuff. Every time I see the cute little thing now, a fit of homicidal mania overtakes me and I ACHE for a poisoned harpoon that I can spear it with. If it had stuck to chewing on the woodwork, I may have been more understanding. But the internet cable......my tolerance only stretches that far.
Anyway this is just part of my ongoing travails with wildlife. A recent trip to Shimla was like a sort of Horror movie meets Sci-Fi fantasy meets Discovery channel. The name of the movie would be
Invasion of the Plastic Snatchers - The Environment Strikes Back!
Shimla and, in fact, the entire state of Himachal Pradesh (and for all I know the entire Himalayas) is infested with a breed of particularly vicious, aggressive, greedy Kleptomaniacal monkeys. They love us humans, primarily as a source of food. The clever little monstrous beasts have recognised the fact that humans carry food around in plastic bags. SO if you're out and about in the hills with a plastic bag (even if it just has some dirty old socks in it like mine had) - you WILL be attacked. They WILL nonchalantly walk upto you, grab your bag from your hands, examine it and casually keep what they like while tossing the rest over the steepest mountainside.
Farewell Old Socks.
Any attempt at retrieval or retaliation on your part will have the monkeys advance towards you baring their teeth and claws. Make no mistake. They can and do bite. Then its off to the hospital for some anti-rabies needle fun.
But like I said this is Mother Nature working her wonders in mysterious ways. Plastic bags are the bane of the environment. They are not bio-degradable, they clog water bodies/rivers/streams, cause wildlife to choke, are generally carcinogenic to the poor goats and cows that eat them - AND most importantly, enormously ugly to look at. It is the single worst visual pollutant of the countryside. Why countryside! Any side! Seaside, Urbanside, Ruralside, you name it.
And now the environment fights back. Through its chosen ones - The Marauding Monkeys! Fear of these beasts is going to force people to stop using plastic bags. Mark my words - this will single-handedly do more for reducing plastic pollution than any state ban can ever do.
But eco-friendly as I am - I still hate those monkeys. And mice. And while I'm on a rant - pigeons.
God, I hate pigeons!
Wanted: One Poison Harpoon. Any shape or Size. Instruction Manual to be included.
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